Q: How many Contras

Q: How many Contras does it take to change a light bulb?A: One, but he needs one Iranian, one Israeli, four Canadians, and Arab, twenty Swiss, and Afghan, and Oliver North to help him.Note: Topical to the 1987 Iran/Contra hearings.

Q: How many Lacanians

Q: How many Lacanians does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Three-one to do it, one to desire it, and the ignorant Other.Note: Jacques Lacan (1901-82) was a prominent French psychoanalyst and theorist who is very influential with literary critics at the moment. This relates to his theories.)

Q: How many blondes

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Duh.... whats a lightbulb???

Q: How many Arians

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a light bulb?A: Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?

Q: How many Capricorns

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw...

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None of your damn business!

Q: How many Techno

Q: How many Techno dancers does it take to change a light bulb?A: Six, one to wear it around the neck, one to bring ecstasy and give it to the dancer to distract him, one to steal the light bulb while the dancer is distracted and dazed from ecstasy, three to distract the remaining crowd so they will not try to grab the bulb.

Babies

How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

What's a lightbulb?

Q: How many gardeners does

Q: How many gardeners does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Just one. The new light bulbs are just as easy to change as the older, heavier ones.

Q: How many Englishmen

Q: How many Englishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: What do you mean change it? It's a perfectly good bloody bulb! We have had it for a thousand years and it has worked just *fine*.

Q: How many Liverpool supporters

Q: How many Liverpool supporters does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: 96. One to change it and 95 to get killed in the crush when the whole city turns up to watch.Note: Topical to the Hillsborough disaster.

Q: How many ice

Q: How many ice skaters does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two, one to screw in the bulb, one to hire a hitman on club the other skater on the knee.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They only screw the poor.

Untitled joke

How many light beer drinkers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.

Q: How many Rochester

Q: How many Rochester residents does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Fifty one - one to screw in the bulb, and fifty to comment about how much better the bulb is than light bulbs in Buffalo.

Q: How many bureaucrats

Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: Two. One to assure everyone that everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.

Q: How many members

Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a light bulb?A: Six-Scotty to get on the intercom when the light goes out and say "I canna do it, Cap'n! These bulbs are stoon dead", Spock to tell Kirk he is proceeding illogically, McCoy to say "They're BURNED-OUT, Jim!" and "Dammit Jim-I'm a doctor not an electrician!!", Kirk to screw it in, and two red-shirt security men to die in the process.

How many Belfast folk singers does it take...

How many Belfast folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to screw it in, and the other nine to sing how good the old one
was.

Q: How many Dartmouth

Q: How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None--Hanover doesn't have electricity!Note: Dartmouth is way out in the middle of nowhere in New Hampshire.

Q: How many blind

Q: How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb?A: If the switch is off, one. If the switch is on, any number, until one of them figures out to turn it off.